HOW WOULD YOU Help Someone With Mental MEDICAL ISSUES

One of my friends sadly is suffering from schizophrenia. It developed during his late teens, and unfortunately he was in children with parents who struggled with their alcoholism therefore weren't as supportive as they could have been. We all wonder whether it could have made an improvement to how lousy he got if there had been more of a support system for him in the first stages, whether from family, friends, or mental health professionals spotting the signs in early stages.

At one point before he had been diagnosed, while he was still working as a security guard (not just a congrats for someone on the verge of an analysis of schizophrenia - too much time alone isn't great for people who are beginning to doubt their very own mind in terms of working out what's reality and what isn't), he previously plenty of access to finance for an automobile, and bank loans. After his diagnosis, and subsequent loss of driving licence, he found himself in financial difficulty as he lost his job also - and so took out a substantial loan (�10,000 or so). He started needing to leave the house as a result of stress of being with other people rather than making certain of reality, and continued long walks, or trips to London and stayed out forever. One of these nights he buried the �10,000, in cash. To this day he doesn't know where he buried it.

Thankfully he met and fell in love with a girl who really manages him, chases up mental health teams for support, tells him when he's reacting to something is only happening in his mind, and ensures he takes the correct drugs at the correct times, and helps him manage transitions in one drug to some other (which at times requires hospitalization because of the side effects of new drugs). Although he still has good days and bad days, he's being taken care of and protected from the symptoms getting any worse.

It can no help for him to now reflect back on what could have been, but it may be a significant and important lesson for other people who are facing the realization that they or someone they know could be suffering from undiagnosed mental medical issues.

So what is it possible to do in the event that you, or someone you value, is struggling with their mental health?

Look Out for Early Signs

If they become withdrawn, or show increased drug and alcohol use, disinterest in activities, disinterest in looking after themselves, changes in appetite, or moodiness, be aware that these could be early signs. Even if they don't really want help, and you'll worry they'll hate you for this, it's better to try and get professional help as early as possible, as early diagnosis and management could mean it's a one off experience instead of something which troubles them for life!

Talk About It!

There's a campaign in support of ending mental health discrimination, and their big focus is on just getting on and discussing it. So you don't have to be considered a doctor or mental health expert to speak to someone about their mental health. Think about it as though your friend is continually heading back to an abusive relationship - would we let them keep on going through the same cycles and just watch from the side-lines? Or would we make an effort to talk to them about what they're doing, in the event they haven't seen the larger picture of what's happening to them?

It is the same with mental health issues - in the event that you really value someone, try to talk to them about their situation. Not in a judgemental way, and don't do it if you are feeling frustrated, angry, or emotional about the situation. Make a note to ask them in a relaxed way if they are aware of some of their peculiar behaviours, and in addition ask them if they need any assist in working through a few of their issues, or would like to be supported in seeking medical advice. They may need a large amount of reassurance that help will undoubtedly be given, rather than that they will be locked up!

I know for my friend that even though he could be alert to his illness and that some of what he thinks and worries about is not true, he still often thinks that the medicine he has to take will kill him (that someone is trying to poison him). Being able to talk about this and on offer reassurance and encouragement to take medicine which, when he could be well he knows he wants to take, makes the planet of difference between him having the capacity to maintain his current level of manageable symptoms, or going off the meds, starting an unravelling of the current state into an unmanageable issue, and worst case, dependence on hospitalisation (which he desperately doesn't want).

For someone who is on the periphery of the problem, not involved with daily care or relationships, it's still good to essentially ask how your friend is! My friend is often nervous to come out around for fear that people will notice 'how weird he behaves.' After I've asked him how he could be feeling, or how he felt the other day when we all went, he could say he's fighting hiding his thoughts, or he felt sick and that individuals were looking at him, in which point I can genuinely reassure him that I must say i thought he'd done well and I hadn't pointed out that he was struggling. Or during an evening if I notice he's looking a bit uncomfortable, it's great to just say 'hey, how are you currently feeling?' and let him know it's absolutely fine if he feels he needs to leave, or to tell him that he's doing well etc. Why would we avoid talking about this when he is able to really benefit from that extra support?

Also, my girlfriend who is dating my friend who suffers, has said that caring for anyone who has serious mental medical issues can be very time consuming, and having a group of people who can offer support can be quite a huge help - from attending appointments with him, to sitting aware of him so he isn't alone when she needs to go out etc.

Her top tips are also:

- Show patience and consistent, someone struggling with something within their own head may not be able to respond to you as quickly as you prefer, or at all! It might be too much using what they're already trying to control

- Don't be scared of their diagnosis - lots of people won't become dangerous because of an analysis, they're more prone to hurt themselves or commit suicide than hurt others - but their general personality isn't more likely to change (i.e. from someone non-aggressive in to a danger to public)

- Believe them that it is real to them - telling people they must be in a position to see things from your view won't help. Imagine you've been speaking with someone for 10 years, and now you're told they're not real. You'd be likely to think your world holds true and their world unreal!

- Don't worry about being frustrated, mad, or upset about your partner/friend's situation, and your own as a caregiver! Neither of you'll have chosen this. But make an effort to talk to external people for support, or helplines, rather than to the sufferer, as they may withdraw from confiding in you. Do seek support - you do not want to end up resenting the sufferer!

- Don't neglect people's physical needs - mental health medications can often have negative side effects on physical health, as can symptoms of mental health, such as for example not remembering to eat, or affecting digestion/nervous system/memory loss. Make an effort to encourage physical check-ups and mental health check-ups, as you do not want to arrived at a point where physical health can be negatively affecting the person's life.

Don't DISCUSS It!

However, having said how great it really is to share with you mental health issues, it is also important to learn when to drop the subject! Whilst those suffering are in great need of specific support coping with their symptoms or fears and issues, once these have already been discussed or a plan of action has been submit, you don't have to always discuss their mental medical issues.

Sometimes all people need who've spent quite a long time dealing with their difficulties is to be taken out of the situation for a change of scenery, a rest from coping with it by themselves, and cheering up and taking their mind off the problem. Nothing does just as much for people struggling with mental medical issues as genuinely having the ability to forget that they even have them, even for just 20 minutes or a few hours.

To feel 'normal again' (whatever that basically appears like), and portion of the crowd, and to stop thinking about those ideas that are plaguing them, whether it be hearing voices, or obsessively fretting about having turned the oven off, or feeling despair because of depression - really having your mind taken off of the worries can do wonders.

Many psychotherapists or other mental medical researchers recommend treatments such as for example Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) or Mindfulness Training or Courses - as these disciplines both focus on giving your mind the various tools to think in a different way to its 'default setting'. So whilst distracting your friend/family member by memories is an excellent help, this can only help in the short instance (which is much better than nothing!). However, trying to encourage them to seek professional help which will gradually encourage them to renew their thought patterns, providing them with alternatives to target their minds on, and different behaviours to practise to try to stop the harmful thought patterns, is also something great that you can do for them.